In Chapter 32, The Beauty of a Tragedy, Miller included an email excerpt from his friend, Jim. (Jim's wife, Janice, was losing her battle with cancer.)
Reading this excerpt, I appreciated the sincerity in Jim's email when he said:
During this morning I have been struck with the reality that my wife is not coming back, She will never again sit up and make one of her wisecracks to put me in my place; never laugh with me or respond when asked how long we have been married by saying, "Not long enough." I will never again share her bed, her body; never attend church with her. fly to some faraway city or sit around a dinner table with her and the boys. Regardless of the time left, these things will never again happen. Today I am very sad. Very, very sad.
The part that really touched me was the response to the question "How long you have been married?"
Not long enough.
(Granted, don't get me wrong, the rest of his realizations are also quite touching and having been diagnosed, myself, with an incurable illness, I can appreciate his heartfelt sincerity in the thoughts of losing his spouse.)
Too often, I feel that the world is missing this sincerity. Too often, jokes of marriage relating to a death sentence are cracked. Too often, we forget to tell our loved ones that we love them.
In my mind, I've always wanted to grow old with someone, loving them until the end. (My heart melts a little bit when I see an elderly couple sitting together on a bench, holding hands.) Ever since I was a child, the fairytale (played out in my mind) included "happily ever after".
Timing is everything. All things happen for a reason. You have to be in the right place at the right time.
These are all things, common clichés that make perfect sense to me.
While marrying young (and learning from that experience), I can't say that I regret it. Without these learning experiences, I wouldn't have met my husband and later had the awe-inspiring opportunity to become a parent. Without a failed marriage under my belt, I wouldn't know how to work hard to make things right this time around. (Although, I'm convinced that picking the perfect partner truly is key here.)
I only wish I would have crossed paths with my (current) husband sooner in life because I feel SO LUCKY to have him in my life. I am constantly reminded what a great fit he is for me and how much I appreciate having him along on my journey. I hope that in the event that I die before he does, that when HE is asked the question "How long were you married?" that his response would be "Not long enough."
Hoping to grow old together. Hoping to occupy a park bench while holding hands. Hoping to inspire a young couple someday to want what WE have. Hoping for my happily ever after...
